Living On Life’s Terms

What does living life on life’s terms mean?

According to the great psychiatrist Viktor Frankl : “we cannot avoid suffering, but we can choose how to cope with it , find meaning in it, and move forward with renew purpose.”   Further, he said : “If you want to suffer, then you go about your life demanding people, outcomes, and things to be a certain way.”

Accepting life on life’s terms is easier said than done, especially when it feels like everything around us is crashing down. However, acceptance is a mysterious answer.  Through the power of acceptance we can we learn about love, compassion, self- awareness, forgiveness, patience, and faith. Acceptance allows us to see ourselves for who we are, with our desires and dreams, while honoring the enigmatic and vastness of fate.

Living on life’s terms means that when life shows up, we take it as it comes, and find the courage to face our problems without resisting, complaining, blaming, escaping, or denying.

Living on life’s terms means realizing that when fate is an impediment to our desires,  we get the amazing opportunity to discover new avenues to increase our strength, self-control, and find inner peace.

What abilities do we need to cultivate to be living on life’s terms?

1) Discernment: We need to cultivate the ability to discern what is in our control, and what is out of our control. When our ego feels audacious, it may mistakenly decide that it has everything under control. On the other hand, when our ego is fearful, it may have the wrong impression that little or nothing is in our control. This is a life-long lesson.

2) Acceptance of how little is in our control:  Acceptance what it is.  is not a passive state, it is an act of recognition that things are the way they are… It’s one of the most powerful places we can find ourselves in. This is where we learn to humbly accept our limits, and we let go of a sense of control and entitlement. Most of us are ONLY open to accept life on our terms – we accept life only “IF” we were healthy enough; thin enough; serene enough; financially stable enough; in love enough; fit enough; successful enough. In short, we tell ourselves that acceptance is a state of mind reserved for when life works the way we want it and expected, rather than the amazingly freeing ability to experience life every day just as it unfolds.

3) Shift Perspective: rather than seeing what is out of our control as simply unfortunate, we can explore the possibility of discovering the opportunity presented by life with curiosity and wonder.

4) Self-Compassion: We don’t fear risks. We fear how we will treat ourselves if a risk we take generates an unfavorable outcome Therefore, in order to accept life’s terms of living our desire, we will need to learn to forgive ourselves when our actions do not produce the expected results.

5) Letting Go: letting go of the things we cannot control, letting go of expectations, letting go of blame, letting go of complaint, letting go of self-pity, letting go of comparisons, letting go of denying, letting go of resisting, letting go of anger, letting go of agendas, and letting be our experience just be what it is.

6) Trust: Trust in a Power Greater Than Yourself. Trust there are so many things that are happening in an extraordinary way in our lives. Trust that we are equipped with everything we need to face whatever life throws at us. Trust that we will be guided to a prompt and positive solution to what we are dealing with.

7) Control How We Respond: we can decide how we are going to respond to what life brings to us, moment to moment. Exploring our choices, discovering the opportunities, and taking full responsibility for our decisions and actions, is key to living a life of empowerment, serenity, and freedom.

Living on life’s terms means learning how to live over and over again. 

Let the light of our wishes and the fire of our desire illuminate the path we belong on. When our desire is accompanied by acceptance for what which lies beyond us, we agree to life’s terms, and live a life well lived.

May you choose to find the courage and serenity needed to live your best life on life’s terms.

Love,

Veronica